Sleep On It Pillows

Bailout on the Bankrupt Seas

Transcript:

I'm a sailor. My name's Smith Barneycle. Let me tell you a story. It was me and Charles Schwabing down the decks as we sailed the bankrupt seas off the outer Banks of America. The day was a Capital One. "Guten Morgan,Stanley," I said ponzi'ing our Earnest & Young captain. He said, "that's a NAS DAQ you've cleaned." I said, "'Tis DeloitteTouche I use."

But then PIRATES on the Horizons! He said "They're giving Chase, Man! Hattan down the hatches!! We are Madoff money. We've got Gold, man! Sachs of it! If they cash us they'll bonus!" I said "A I ..Gee, captain!"

So Frost we headed to the Norwest, but they State Street behind us. The pirates' First National aboard was AMEX...ican, named Fidel, a Tijuana native. I shouted "Comerica! I'll Merrilly Lynch you!" But he was Regions for his gun. I said "IMF'd!"

So I proposed a Countrywide alliance. "I'll offer you a Mellon dollars. Let's make this ship a Prize Waterhouse of finance."

But, the captain said "What's that USA,A? Are UBS-ing me? This is the First Union I've ever heard of. I've MetLife and I'm Fed up with it. USTrust someone and they Wachovia. I Wells Fargo my duties and resign."

I said "GMAC Captain now! Why would E-trade places with me? Oh, well, it's Ameritrade, and I'm Citi pretty."

© 1998-2012, Andrew Balinsky. All Rights Reserved.